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This is a letter to my past self -- my self at the beginning of 2017.
Hello, 2017 Luis.
The introduction will make you think that nothing has changed since writing your letter, but trust me, a lot has happened since then. First of all, you made it to 2018! The road leading up to the new year wasn't easy. It had it's own bumps and detours, but you made it. Along the way, you learned a lot of things and because of that, you came out a better person than when you started the year. But before I tell you everything that happened, I'll answer a couple of your questions first.
My eighteenth birthday was really special. Believe it or not, I actually did celebrate my birthday with our friends! It was actually a surprise celebration planned by mom and ate. You did actually plan to have a party but eventually let go of the idea because everyone's schedule couldn't really meet. Thankfully, the surprise party went well! All our best friends were there and it was a definite highlight of our year!
During the summer, I planned to get a driver's license, but eventually put it off until about a week before second year began. You don't actually start lessons until December was absolutely fine because though the first half of the semester was chill, the second half was a struggle. You come out of the semester alive, so that's a good thing! Since finishing your driving lessons, you've actually been driving regularly. You've driven as far as Ortigas which means you passed by EDSA and that's something worth celebrating! But for the most part, you've been commuting to and from school which is something you didn't even know how to do at the start of the year! I will tell you though: don't take the train past four in the afternoon, the jeepney is cheaper than the trike, and always have spare change!
Speaking of summer, the summer of your 2017 was actually quite eventful! You began the summer serving at high school camp. As a photographer and a member of the Activities Team, you realized quite quickly how incredibly exhausting it is to be part of the staff at camps. A month later, you will then find yourself at camp again, but this time as a camper.
The experience was quite surreal. No huge epiphanies were had, but you did have your moments with God. The God-encounters were real and raw. You had them when you were alone and when you were with friends. You had them during plenaries and during buzz group sessions. Having already heard the plenaries at high school camp, you were worried how different your experience would be at college camp. You'll find out that sometimes God doesn't really speak through the plenaries. I mean, at this college camp, He spoke the most to you in your most intimate and genuine interactions with your friends and leaders, and that really moved you.
Right after college camp, and I mean this quite literally, I flew to the United States to surprise our relatives over there! No, we don't end up going to Europe, but we do get to see our baby cousin, who you will soon find out is the only child you do not dislike.
While you were there, not only did you spend a lot of time with our relatives, you went on your first ministry break for the year! Having nothing ministry-related to do really changed your perspective and you came back refreshed and ready to serve. Taking this ministry break really encouraged you and you carried that new mindset with you into the new semester. You listened to your body more and took days off from school when you knew your body needed to rest. At first, you'll feel horrible for cutting classes that day, but trust me, you will thank yourself for it later on.
Late into the year, you will decide to spontaneously cut your hair short, but not too short that your undercut-top knot hairdo will drastically change. You love having both short and long hair at the same time! But that will soon change as this short cut will encourage you to eventually cut your hair so short that you'll start using hair products again. Since we're already on the topic of style, I'm just going to let you know that getting this haircut also encourages you to try different kinds of clothes, and you'll enjoy going out of your comfort zone.
Love will still be a struggle for you, but you will learn to love and be loved in more ways than one. You will look for a certain kind of love in places that don't give that kind of love anymore. Your heart will be broken, but you will soon understand that love is unique in that it comes in different forms, expressed in different languages, and received in different ways. In those places, you will find a new kind of love that is beautiful and genuine just as much as the love you've grown accustomed to. You will find love in places you never thought you would find anything and this love will teach your heart once again what it means to love and be loved.
Because of all that will happen to you, you will find peace in creating once again. You will open yourself up and find yourself creating outside of your comfort zone. You will realize once again how important creating is to you. You will make time to create and just the same with taking breaks, you will feel horrible at first, but the change in your life will ease your doubts and tame your fears, encouraging you to go further down the road of creativity.
The year that has passed for me -- the year that will be for you -- was full of lessons, growth, and experiences that I'm excited for you to have. The joy you will have at the end of it all is incomparable. The faith that will be restored within you is indescribable. The hope you will learn of will be indispensable. There is so much ahead of you, and that in turn makes me hopeful for 2018.
Until next time,
Luis
